Wednesday, September 2, 2009

regrets

I am arguably the most indecisive person I know.
It usually stems from thinking I can do more than I am capable of. Today is the day I was supposed to be on a plane south to Peru. It hit me as the day went by that I would rather be there than here. I will try and give my best if I can. But honestly I don't know how long I'm going to make it here. I should have spent more time counting the cost before I changed my plans. :( Maybe this darkness will pass and I'll make it the whole year but as they say I wouldn't put money on it. It's not even anything to do with the adventure...if it is it's a small part. I just get so sick of the daily grind, the american mindset and the materialism that seems to suck me in a little more every day. I just don't like the person I am when I'm here.

aaaahhhhhh I hate regret.

Now I just have to get motivated and find a way to change it. Tomorrow maybe, tonight I think I'll revel in the regret...maybe next time I won't make a stupid decision.

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